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Ochocinco and T.O.: Honorary Villains of the No Football Nation

August 1, 2010

When I decided to go a full year without football, I did so in the spirit of those who personified why I decided to abandon the sport: Brett Favre, Joe Buck, ESPN, college football powerhouses, etc.

Turns out the true antagonists are the guys who impose themselves into the action as I wrap up my trial run in preparation for August 8th.

It all started last week, when an ad showed up right in the mobile version of this website.

It continued this weekend when, during a family day trip to Venice, I encountered an outdoor billboard version of THIS…

Right there…throwing it in my face.

It was a neat coincidence the first time.  Now it’s bordering on threatening.

It’s enough that the Fellowship of No Rings are now teammates not only on the field, but in the basic cable ratings scramble.  If I watched VH1, I’d be livid.  Hell, it gives me an excuse to block the channel with all the others mentioned in The Plan.

This is exactly the reason I’m doing this…it’s not about the actual event anymore, it’s the individual and the spectacle.  And you keep falling for it.

The first time was a gauntlet.  This time…it’s a call to arms.

If you have any shred of dignity, do not contribute to the continuation of the spectacle by dedicating anything more than a split-second of inter-channel surfing’s worth of attention to this.  If these guys are vapid enough to compete directly with Family Guy, Mad Men, and America’s Got Talent, they’ll be clueless enough to believe they can compete directly against the NFL pre-season…

…which will at least happen on the East Coast next Sunday, the first day of the Year Without Football.

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